Today is one of those days I had to force myself to get out of bed. This is a rare occurrence for me, and I am not digging the blah feeling I have. It’s after 1 pm, and I just forced myself to eat breakfast.
Although I have 6 almost finished drafts that I need to work on, my head is more focused on the now.
I feel like I need to a survival kit to make it through the day
Not sure if that makes any sense. So I am going to write about “Now”. Maybe then I can move on to the next day somewhat caught up.
Not really sure what happened so I need to figure this out. I had an incredible weekend with a great friend I had not seen in like 17 years. Drove to Vancouver, which only about 3 hours from where I live. I wouldn’t say I was running from my problems, in fact in any other case that would have been exactly what it was. We had been talking about getting together for a while and we finally did. Much needed friend time.
So what changed? Why am I feeling so.. “not ok?“
I left home thinking that after the weekend I would feel better. Fact is, that taking a break to clear a cluttered mind doesn’t really get rid of the clutter. I came home to the same situation, the same problems, and the realization that I was stuck.
Ok, so here is where I am being a baby. I have problems I cannot fix, and I’m just super bummed.
I feel trapped…
I am trapped . (For now at least) I am feeling all those “poor me” feelings and doing the opposite of what I would tell anyone else to do. This is not really the best version of myself. I know this is not permanent. Sometimes we have to go through the hard stuff to get stronger and move forward. Ha, it is easier said than done.
So what was I thinking? I was gonna go have a great visit with a friend and that would fix everything? Well no, that’s ridiculous. But I didn’t really think about it until after I got home. Fact: my situation sucks. And I can’t just leave.
I need to find happiness and acceptance within my own self and deal with it.
The reality is, no one can make me happy. I am in control of that.
No one can fix my problems. I have to do it on my own.
Having love and support from friends is important. However, I have to walk my own path and make my own choices to be able to succeed. I am the only one that can make my life what I want it to be.
Typically I would write about an experience or my struggles, after the fact. Then share how I overcame them, what I did to make it through, and what I learned. This is not my norm. While I am choosing to leave out the dramatic details of what I have going on, I am writing this for me and for my readers who are struggling.. We
need to know that we are not alone.
How I feel Right Now…
- Trapped, Hopeless, Angry, Sad, Frustrated, Scattered, Hurt, Confused, Overwhelmed
It is very difficult for me to be able to sort out what to do next or what the “right” choice is when I there is so much chaos inside my head. This is where I think a lot of us struggle the most in times like these.
How are you Feeling?
This is the beginning to something better. Let’s make this journey together. what is going on with you? Please comment below or send me a private message HERE and share your story. Reaching out is the hardest part. But it is the first step to healing, and becoming a better you.
Thank you for reading, and I will talk to you soon!
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